An extremely underwhelming espionage thriller, Skin Traffik features a veritable “Who the hell cares?” of former stars. This includes Mickey Rourke, whose face is now a catcher’s mitt because of an ill-fated pro boxing career in Florida, Michael Madsen, hammier than a porchetta panino and the sine qua non of bad moviedom, Eric Roberts.

Kickboxer/star Gary Daniels gets mixed up in a human trafficking ring and has to rescue a bunch of Russian hookers from the clutches of a secret cabal of globalist weirdos.That’s about all there is. Oh and for some reason this involves shuttling between London and Amsterdam, even though there are no canal chases or any scenes that make use of the stunning Dutch city.

As an aside, Gary is not the name of an action star. He’s the guy who does your taxes.

We love bad action films. And this one is a stinker of stratospheric proportions.

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