Tag Archives: terrible movies

Really Awful Movies: Ep 221 – 47 Meters Down

You’ll never get a more straightforward title: 47 Meters Down. What could this possibly be about? Claire Holt and Mandy Moore portray sisters who are on vacation in Mexico. One of them is moving on from a recent, difficult breakup.

And they go on a deep sea diving expedition and swim around with the fishies in a cage.

Unfortunately, things go south…Guess you could say. The winch that’s holding their cage malfunctions and down down down they go, where they stop, nobody knows. Well, we do know. It’s 47 Meters…you know the rest.

47 Meters Down was a surprise box office hit. The film, a 2017 British flick directed by Johannes Roberts, written by Roberts and Ernest Riera, grossed a whopping 61.7 million. Originally slated as a VOD release, Entertainment Studios committed to a wide theatrical release. And a savvy business move that was.

So, where does this rank with respect to shark attack movies? It’s more survivalist flick than shark attack, but look at the poster. They know how their bread is buttered.

Join us on the Really Awful Movies Podcast as we dive into what’s good, and what’s not so good about 47 Meters Down.

Interested in animal attack movies? We delved into Grizzly on an earlier episode, and also, Kingdom of the Spiders with Scott Drebit (Daily Dead).

Really Awful Movies: Ep 219 – Longshot

Just when we’ve thought we’d seen it all…another turd floats our way.

Longshot is, wait for it…a movie about foosball. Of all things.

With the Champions League and the World Cup, soccer is on a lot of people’s minds, and always is. After all, it’s the world’s most popular sport. But foosball? The dopey, loud, largely unsatisfying bar/rec room/basement parlor game? It’s enough to make your head spin, forget the little plastic men.

This foosball, is tied to football, er, soccer. Paul Rodgers (played by ex-teen idol Leif Garrett) wants to be the next Zidane/Beckham. So he turns down a scholarship at a US college, in order to pursue his dreams….ON THE FOOSBALL CIRCUIT. You see, there’s a 50k grand prize. And if he wins, he can get himself over to Europe and maybe make it in the Premier League?

But this is Bush League stuff.

As the poster here says, “your chance is 1 in 1000,” terrible odds, especially when frittering away an academic scholarship for some pipe dream. Er, Longshot.

Paul and Leroy are 18-year-olds about to make their way to Lake Tahoe where this prestigious event is being held. Unfortunately, through some mechanism we can’t for the life of us remember, Leroy injures his spinning hand (forgive us if we’re not too well-versed in foosball vocab). So Paul enlists the help of 13-year old Maxine. Because that’s what 18-year-olds do, they cross state lines with minors and stay in motel rooms with them. WTF?

That’s a proposition that beggars belief. Much like squandering a chance at funding your post-secondary education on some dopey tournament. Unless your competition had thalidomide arms, it’d probably be anyone’s game.

We podcasted Manos: The Hands of Fate, one of the most boring films ever committed to celluloid. And this is that film’s easy rival. It’s agonizing on every level you know, and on some you don’t.

After all, how in hell could foosball be rendered cinematically?

Who thought this movie was a good idea?

We’ll break it down for you!