Category Archives: Action films

Really Awful Movies: Ep 166 – Commando



There are a handful of movie stars who’re known by their first names. There’s Meryl, Clint, Harrison, Sylvester, and not to be outdone, Ah-nold. Commando blew out of the gates in the mid 80s, and it’s been tougher to recruit useless monosyllabic henchmen ever since.

Commando is so bad for the health of moronic goons, it needs its own epidemiologist. That’s why as hosts of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, we absolutely had to discuss it. We love laying waste to goons!

The plot couldn’t be more ridiculous: someone kidnaps Arnold’s (here, John Matrix) daughter, to get him to overthrow some tin-pot dictator. But he’s got other plans. And those plans include gunning down every conspiring third rate militia man off the California coast.

He seeks out those who’ve captured the fruit of his loins, and is a one-man war machine, wreaking havoc/carnage all over.

Commando is glorious fun, full of one-liners, over-the-top killings, and explosions. It’s must-see material.

 

 


Really Awful Movies: Ep 161 – No Retreat, No Surrender



What reigns supreme? LA or Seattle karate? That’s a good question. And that’s one that is explored in the wacky chop-socky Karate Kid knock-off, No Retreat, No Surrender.

Jason Stillwell is a 3-year veteran of the deadly arts, but not nearly competent enough to either a) represent Seattle in a TV combat tournament or more importantly, b) defend himself against bullies. That’s where Bruce Lee comes in, not as inspiration, but from beyond the grave! Someone who bears a very superficial resemblance to Lee, tutors Jason about how to punch, kick, dodge punching bags, and find is inner chi/qi.

That sets up the final showdown, as Jason is in the fight of his life, with none other than The Muscles from Brussels, Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg, better known as Jean-Claude Van Damme!