Category: Horror films

Really Awful Movies: Ep 222 – Killer Condom

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Killer Condom! The title is pretty self-explanatory. Leave it to Lloyd Kaufman, one of our heroes, to pick this thing up for North American distribution so that people on these shores could be Troma-tized by the film.

A German language comedy horror set in New York City, Killer Condom does what few comedy horrors have managed to do, and that is successfully mix horror and comedy in equal measure. That’s not an indictment of comedy-horror at all, it’s merely the fact that one usually comes at the expense the other.

Set in squalid pre-Giuliani New York City, Killer Condom follows our grumbling, embittered hero, gay Detective Luigi Mackeroni (Udo Samel). The NYPD man has been hired to investigate a series of bizarre attacks at the Hotel Quickie, a 42nd Street flea-bag motel where male guests have all had their penises mysteriously chomped.

While at the scene, he hooks up with a gigolo named Billy and invites him up to the scene of the crime. Before the twosome engage in sex, a carnivorous living condom coitus interrupts them and bites off Mackeroni’s right testicle.

Down one ball, Mackeroni makes it personal. He begins a quest to bring a halt to the tumescent tumult.

Surprisingly heart-filled, Killer Condom is a whimsical delight.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 221 – 47 Meters Down

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You’ll never get a more straightforward title: 47 Meters Down. What could this possibly be about? Claire Holt and Mandy Moore portray sisters who are on vacation in Mexico. One of them is moving on from a recent, difficult breakup.

And they go on a deep sea diving expedition and swim around with the fishies in a cage.

Unfortunately, things go south…Guess you could say. The winch that’s holding their cage malfunctions and down down down they go, where they stop, nobody knows. Well, we do know. It’s 47 Meters…you know the rest.

47 Meters Down was a surprise box office hit. The film, a 2017 British flick directed by Johannes Roberts, written by Roberts and Ernest Riera, grossed a whopping 61.7 million. Originally slated as a VOD release, Entertainment Studios committed to a wide theatrical release. And a savvy business move that was.

So, where does this rank with respect to shark attack movies? It’s more survivalist flick than shark attack, but look at the poster. They know how their bread is buttered.

Join us on the Really Awful Movies Podcast as we dive into what’s good, and what’s not so good about 47 Meters Down.

Interested in animal attack movies? We delved into Grizzly on an earlier episode, and also, Kingdom of the Spiders with Scott Drebit (Daily Dead).

Really Awful Movies: Ep 220 – The Mutilator

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“Mutilate” is one of the more frightening verbs in the English language.

So, here we come to The Mutilator. The poster is enticing: “by sword, by pick, by axe, bye bye.” For some reason, they neglected to mention “by outboard motor.” So yeah, The Mutilator is a bit gross. But the poster and the occasional gory death belies its utter goofiness.

This is a movie that originally went by “Fall Break.” Is that like, catching yourself before being hurt? Something to break your fall? Labor Day is a long weekend, but it’s not a “fall break.” What in hell is a fall break? No wonder this became…THE MUTILATOR (small point: most victims are decidedly NOT mutilated in the sense we’ve come to understand it).

Still, sure beats “fall break” (which sounds like a Porky’s-style romp).

Some college coeds, bored as usual, are looking for a diversion…And that diversion? The king that comes from getting away from it all and going to swill beer and fool around in isolation somewhere. That somewhere is a condo by the beach (somewhere in the Carolinas) that needs to be closed up for the winter.

Ed (whose father owns the place) is game…and grabs his best friends to drive up to do just that. After lots of foreshadowing (which includes demonic masks as well as shiny fishing gaffs) the group starts getting hunting down and picked off by…a PSYCHO KILLER! (you know you want to see the Talking Heads lyric that follows: “Qu’est-ce que c’est.”

The 1980s gave us such glorious stalk-and-slash flicks as the incredibly fun and inane, Hospital Massacre, the gruesome The Burning (with a young Jason Alexander, pre-Costanza) and of course our favorite hockey-masked monster, the Butcher of Camp Crystal Lake, Jason.

So, how does this one stack up?

Well, tune in to find out! This week’s episode of The Really Awful Movies podcast is The Mutilator…If you like what you’re hearing, chime in (or better yet, write us up on iTunes).