Really Awful Movies: Ep 70 – The Concorde…Airport 79

On this episode of the podcast, we break the sound and patience barrier with the infamously corny 70s disaster movie, The Concorde or Airport ’79 or Airport ’80 (whatever, it goes by various names).

The Airport series originated the 70s disaster movie phenomenon. This piece of junk very nearly grounded it as soon as it began. The airport series once showcased the likes of A-listers Dean Martin, Burt Lancaster and Jacqueline Bisset, but by the time the sequel The Concorde Airport 79 took to the skies, those roles went to B-movie legend Sybil Danning (Chained Heat) and Good Times ham and originator of the catchphrase Dy-no-mite!, Jimmie Walker. And let’s not forget Charo!

In The Concorde, a corrupt aerospace executive (Robert Wagner) learns that a reporter has found out about his arms dealing side-gig. Instead of muscling her, offering a bribe or killing her, he decides to blow up a concorde jet she happens to be travelling on. You gotta admire his ambition!

The captain is played by Antonioni standout and French legend Alain Delon, who needs subtitles in this one as his English is so mangled (and his subtitles would need subtitles, just to be sure). It’s his job, along with bombastic flyboy/flyman Patroni (George Kennedy, Cool Hand Luke and 200 other films) to protect passengers from missile attacks.

There are terrible effects, a who’s who of past-their-salad-days nobodies, running airplane bathroom gags that have to be seen to be believed and an itinerant jazz musician who noodles from his seat. You can clearly see how it inspired Airplane!

Variety called it an “unintentional comedy” and the film, after numerous critical skewerings, barely made back its production costs . Roger Ebert went off on the film in I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 69b – Practical Effects and The Butcher Shop

We were lucky enough to visit Hamilton’s The Butcher Shop, which specializes in and is dedicated to designing and creating unique and high-level makeup effects, creatures, prosthetics, human replicas, specialty props and gore effects.

With almost 20 years experience designing special makeup effects and gore gags, Carlos Henriques and Ryan Louagie’s incredible effects work has been featured in ground-breaking independent films, TV series, music videos and haunted attractions.

Carlos Henriques (pictured) was kind enough to not only give us a tour of his shop, but to chat with us about why he does what he does. We love practical effects, and while we acknowledge that occasionally CG is required, it should be used sparingly. Nothing beats a nice bloody practical effect. The boys from the Butcher Shop have practical effects down to a science.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 69 – American Ninja

Forget the Big Lebowski. Our Dude is Dudikoff.

The deadliest art of the Orient is now in the hands of an American! Lucky us.

This is a piece of Cannon Camembert, in which as an alternative to sentencing, a judge decrees that juvenile delinquent Joe Armstrong (Michael Dudikoff) must join the Armed Forces. It’s a plot that’s almost Seinfeldian (“cause he’s MY butler!”).

Anyway, he’s stationed in the Philippines where he demonstrates his heroism saving the colonel’s daughter from attacking ninjas. Along the way, his mettle is tested by the chiseled force that is B-legend Steve James as the sarge. Also, there’s a subplot involving arms sales to a nefarious group that hires deadly ninjas as a self defense force.

The juiciest part is that he’s an amnesiac, not remembering his difficult childhood or background, but luckily, muscle memory isn’t effected: he recalls all his martial arts training.

For a movie entitled American Ninja, the American isn’t much of a fighter, nor does he don the typical black pajamas that a ninja is known for (OK . . . he does, but ever so briefly.)

The film rocks. It has everything going for it that made Cannon great. The Dude abides!

Find more reviews www.reallyawfulmovies.com.