Really Awful Movies: Ep 234 – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

We’re optimists when it comes to cinema. Despite the (often ironic) title of our podcast, we strive (whenever possible) to see the good in everything. However, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band pushed us to the brink.

This is the musical equivalent of C-SPAN: long, dull stretches of banality. And that’s shocking as the source material comes courtesy of arguably the greatest band of all-time, The Beatles. But what’s done to their music is as much a crime as the fashion variety, above.

Sgt. Pepper’s is an attempt to slap a story together around the album of the same name, and everyone connected to the Fab Four (save for George Martin and Billy Preston) had the good sense to stay the hell away.

The Lonely Hearts Club Band comprises the Bee Gees, and Peter Frampton. They sign a deal with BD records, who immediately tries to exploit them and steal their “magical” instruments. Alice Cooper and Aerosmith appear as evil villains, with the Bad Boys from Boston decked out in some kind of odd Fascist uniform regalia.

Ex-Vaudeville legend George Burns, sorta ties the proceedings together as the kindly narrator – and it’s a good thing too, as without him, the film would approach nigh-incomprehensibility.

It’s hard to pick which musical number is the worst, but there are some front-runners including Barry Gibb’s butchering of, “A Day in the Life.” It feels more like a week.

Still, your intrepid hosts soldier on, plowing through a different genre film every week. While we focus on horror and action, we delight in tackling the odd bizarro musical flop like this one. If you like what you hear on the Really Awful Movies Podcast, tune in and be sure to leave us a review on iTunes.

 

Really Awful Movies: Ep 233 – Backcountry

People lost in the woods. Common fodder for horror, right? It’s a terrific conceit, and we as Ontarians have a particular affinity for it as there are thousands upon thousands of kilometers of remote green-space in our gorgeous and at times dangerous, province. Backcountry, like any self-respecting horror film, exploits these very real, visceral fears.

Around these parts, the wilderness itself can kill you. After all, the province of Ontario is nearly 3X the size of Germany. It might be tough for a European to conceptualize. We have SO MUCH space, and most of us are populated along a tiny strip by the US border. It’s easy to wander off the trail and be stuck in a precarious position. As what happens here.

Director Adam MacDonald sets the table beautifully with a believable couple, the male half (Alex), an arrogant outdoors man with confidence to spare and his girlfriend (Jenn) more concerned about being safe in the deep, dark woods.

 

Really Awful Movies: Ep 232 – The Incredible Shrinking Man

We’re used to titles summing up horror movies. The likes of Hospital Massacre, Sorority House Massacre, etc, don’t leave much to the imagination, and little of it is apparent in the finished product. The Incredible Shrinking Man, while not a horror film in the traditional sense, is pretty darn horrifying. An obvious title that lays bare the plot, belies a very interesting, thoughtful, and quirky little movie.

Yes, there’s a man. And he’s shrinking. And that’s all you need to know. This movie sells itself with a terrific premise.

Scott is on vacation with the missus, Louise. They’re on a boat playfully bantering as newly married folks do…and suddenly, a strange mist appears enveloping their craft. For reasons unexplained, the hull protects her from its effects, but poor Scott left on deck, is covered with a white film. Turns out, it was, like that Imagine Dragons ear-worm, “Radioactive.” As the band sings, “I’m waking up to ash and dust, I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust, I’m breathing in the chemicals…”

Soon thereafter, Scott begins to shrink…shedding pounds and inches of height. He undergoes a battery of tests, but there’s nothing that can be done.