Really Awful Movies: Ep 220 – The Mutilator

~ reallyawfulmovies

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 31:01 — 36.0MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More

“Mutilate” is one of the more frightening verbs in the English language.

So, here we come to The Mutilator. The poster is enticing: “by sword, by pick, by axe, bye bye.” For some reason, they neglected to mention “by outboard motor.” So yeah, The Mutilator is a bit gross. But the poster and the occasional gory death belies its utter goofiness.

This is a movie that originally went by “Fall Break.” Is that like, catching yourself before being hurt? Something to break your fall? Labor Day is a long weekend, but it’s not a “fall break.” What in hell is a fall break? No wonder this became…THE MUTILATOR (small point: most victims are decidedly NOT mutilated in the sense we’ve come to understand it).

Still, sure beats “fall break” (which sounds like a Porky’s-style romp).

Some college coeds, bored as usual, are looking for a diversion…And that diversion? The king that comes from getting away from it all and going to swill beer and fool around in isolation somewhere. That somewhere is a condo by the beach (somewhere in the Carolinas) that needs to be closed up for the winter.

Ed (whose father owns the place) is game…and grabs his best friends to drive up to do just that. After lots of foreshadowing (which includes demonic masks as well as shiny fishing gaffs) the group starts getting hunting down and picked off by…a PSYCHO KILLER! (you know you want to see the Talking Heads lyric that follows: “Qu’est-ce que c’est.”

The 1980s gave us such glorious stalk-and-slash flicks as the incredibly fun and inane, Hospital Massacre, the gruesome The Burning (with a young Jason Alexander, pre-Costanza) and of course our favorite hockey-masked monster, the Butcher of Camp Crystal Lake, Jason.

So, how does this one stack up?

Well, tune in to find out! This week’s episode of The Really Awful Movies podcast is The Mutilator…If you like what you’re hearing, chime in (or better yet, write us up on iTunes).

Really Awful Movies: Ep 219 – Longshot

~ reallyawfulmovies ~ 1 Comment

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 31:27 — 36.5MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More

Just when we’ve thought we’d seen it all…another turd floats our way.

Longshot is, wait for it…a movie about foosball. Of all things.

With the Champions League and the World Cup, soccer is on a lot of people’s minds, and always is. After all, it’s the world’s most popular sport. But foosball? The dopey, loud, largely unsatisfying bar/rec room/basement parlor game? It’s enough to make your head spin, forget the little plastic men.

This foosball, is tied to football, er, soccer. Paul Rodgers (played by ex-teen idol Leif Garrett) wants to be the next Zidane/Beckham. So he turns down a scholarship at a US college, in order to pursue his dreams….ON THE FOOSBALL CIRCUIT. You see, there’s a 50k grand prize. And if he wins, he can get himself over to Europe and maybe make it in the Premier League?

But this is Bush League stuff.

As the poster here says, “your chance is 1 in 1000,” terrible odds, especially when frittering away an academic scholarship for some pipe dream. Er, Longshot.

Paul and Leroy are 18-year-olds about to make their way to Lake Tahoe where this prestigious event is being held. Unfortunately, through some mechanism we can’t for the life of us remember, Leroy injures his spinning hand (forgive us if we’re not too well-versed in foosball vocab). So Paul enlists the help of 13-year old Maxine. Because that’s what 18-year-olds do, they cross state lines with minors and stay in motel rooms with them. WTF?

That’s a proposition that beggars belief. Much like squandering a chance at funding your post-secondary education on some dopey tournament. Unless your competition had thalidomide arms, it’d probably be anyone’s game.

We podcasted Manos: The Hands of Fate, one of the most boring films ever committed to celluloid. And this is that film’s easy rival. It’s agonizing on every level you know, and on some you don’t.

After all, how in hell could foosball be rendered cinematically?

Who thought this movie was a good idea?

We’ll break it down for you!

Really Awful Movies: Ep 218 – Horror Movie Musical Performances

~ reallyawfulmovies

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 22:12 — 25.9MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More

On this special episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, Musical Performances in Horror Movies!

Much has been said, and much ink has been spilled about horror movie soundtracks and the like…your Tubular Bells from The Exorcist, the ba-dum…ba-dum…ba-dum from Jaws…but there’s an interesting, overlooked bit of fun in horror movies: Horror movie musical performances!

The Prowler is a pretty fun horror/slasher film. It’s got great effects by Tom Savini, a terrific antagonist who wields a mean pitch fork…but it’s more than that. At the high school dance, a band plays for the kids. It’s a song called The Hard Way, by Nowherefast. It’s terrific stuff, and everyone’s having a rip-roaring good time.

What about Thor? (pictured above). His music, particular “Energy” from Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is just pure, glorious, un-diluted cheese. There’s great music from that one for sure.

Check out our list of some of our favorite horror movie musical performances here!

And don’t forget, subscribe to the Really Awful Movies Podcast.