Tag: terrible movies

Really Awful Movies: Ep 68 – Birdemic

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Sitting at a woeful “1.8” out of 10 on IMDb (with 12,000 + votes cast), it was inevitable we’d turn our eyes to the heavens and examine the notorious Birdemic.

Not to be mistaken for The Birds, the Hitch masterpiece by which this poop was allegedly inspired, Birdemic (full title, Birdemic: Shock and Terror) is widely regarded by aficionados of terrible cinema as one of the worst films of all time.

Does it hold up?

This quirky “independent romantic horror film” was written, directed, and produced by James Nguyen, an auteur of the awful a la Ed Wood.

The somnambulist performances, uneven sound, memorably inane exposition and some of the weirder special effects you’ll ever encounter, makes Birdemic can’t miss material. It’s strangely hypnotic and so bad, it actually improves a bit with repeated viewings (but take that with a grain of salt: we’re rigorous defenders of Battlefield Earth).

What really makes this one a cut above (or is that below?) is the green-think Mother Earth moralizing. Al Gore, eat your heart out! (but make sure that heart is locally-sourced).

Really Awful Movies: Ep 50 – The Apple

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In the 1979 Cannon Group musical mega-flop, The Apple, competing acts take to the stage in a song contest not unlike the Euro Vision one.

Anyway, a Canadian folk duo is robbed of their potential song contest win when BIM Records sabotages their performance with a high-pitched squeal from backstage (it’s folk music, so who would know?)

Soon though, the young Canadians are tempted in a Garden of Eden fashion (yep, that’s where the title’s derived, not the other Beatles’ Apple)

We find out that underhanded deals are being signed (hey, it’s the music business after all) and that in the far future (1994!) the music industry became so powerful and so indelibly linked to everyone’s very existence, that the label BIM has soared to basically Apple-like prominence in the zeitgeist (Apple Computers that is).

Guess nobody saw Napster coming.

In its one-star review, Slant said, “every song in the goddamned movie sucks.” Our slant is that there are a few good ones that’ll leave you humming for days, and that this disaster is pretty damn fun, with hilarious set-pieces and lost-in-translation elements (it was conceived as a Hebrew stage musical).

Please take a bite out of this Apple (and “don’t mind the maggots” to quote the Rolling Stones’ Shattered).

This is a fun, horribly misguided piece of cinema. And be sure to subscribe to the Really Awful Movies Podcast!

Really Awful Movies: Ep 48 – Manos: The Hands of Fate

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In the infamous Manos: the Hands of Fate, a family (and their little dog too) gets lost in the back roads of rural Texas and stumbles upon a hidden, sinister, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his hunched over man-servant Torgo.

Guess roadside assistance was hard to come by. General rule: avoid abandoned homes in the middle of nowhere, tended to by weirdo midget manservants.

There is a very odd subplot involving a vice squad busting teens making out in convertibles, with booze stashed in glove compartment.

The film’s plot (threadbare that it is) revolves around a vacationing family who lose their way on a road trip. After a long drive in the Texas desert, the family finds themselves trapped at a lodge maintained by a polygamous pagan cult (don’t you hate it when that happens?) Then, they attempt to escape as the cult’s members decide what to do with them.

Manos is infamous for its technical deficiencies, especially its considerable editing and continuity flaws; its soundtrack and visuals not being synchronized; dull-as-dirt pacing; truly terrible acting; and several scenes that are seemingly inexplicable or disconnected from the overall plot, such as a couple making out in a car or The Master’s wives brawling with one another. 

The movie, very unfairly described as one of the worst of all time is out on Blu-Ray. It makes a perfect stocking stuffer.