Really Awful Movies: Ep 122 – No Holds Barred

Popping vitamins and saying our prayers with the second Hulk Hogan movie we’ve endured on the podcast, 1989’s NO HOLDS BARRED.

A network with sagging ratings tries to boost their brand by signing the world’s top wrestling draw, Rip (The Hulkster). When he balks, they produce their own long-form political drama for HBO, become hugely successful, and the rest is history. Just kidding.

They do what any major network would do under the circumstances: attempt a kidnapping, bait the competition with a seductress, then stage a cage fighting tournament for television, featuring a cross-eyed psychopath straight outta prison.

No Holds Barred combines the logic-defying zaniness of a Cannon film (even though it’s New Line), with the crappiness of a WWE production. The Washington Post said it has a  “script that seems to be a collaboration between Hogan’s publicists and Hollywood hacks who somehow missed “Rocky” and its progeny…”

Featuring a generous 11% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, No Holds Barred was promoted on WWE via “No Holds Barred: The Match/The Movie. The matches were no great shakes either (The Ultimate Warrior is on the undercard) and the federation remains embarrassed enough that this isn’t available on their network/website.

When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside…

Really Awful Movies: Ep 113 – Hunter

Ron Becks is…HUNTER.

He’s a “mystical cop” and this $200,000 (but looks much cheaper) California action flick is mystifying.

Directed by Gregory Hatanaka (Samurai Cop 2) we’re introduced to the very zen Tony Robbins platitude dispenser, Hunter. He happens to work for LAPD’s International Sex Crimes Unit.

Hunter is a bewildering figure, a self help guru and a formidable jazz man (cough) who shakes down drug dealers and swigs Makers Mark from the bottle.

He becomes embroiled in quite a caper, the murder of several of his fellow officers. All the while, he becomes a reluctant guardian to a teen runaway from the “backwoods of Tennessee” (yes, that’s the caption).

Bizarre, hilarious and inept, Hunter is must-see material. And you’ll be surprised to see George Lazenby in a supporting role (maybe as surprised as he was to be in this).

Here is the trailer and link to our review:

Hunter

Really Awful Movies: Ep 110 – Dangerous Men

A seemingly straight-ahead rape-revenge flick that veers into totally unforeseen directions, Dangerous Men is the brainchild of Iranian immigrant John S. Rad, and took 26 years to complete (!)

And the final product shows – literally – as there are calendars from 1983 and rock Ts from 1991. There are subplots that disappear into thin air, and new protagonists emerge with less of a backstory than your average WWE house show undercard.

Still, Slash Film said Dangerous Men is “bursting with imagination and life.”

No doubt.

Listen to what drives Mina to kill…DANGEROUS MEN.