Really Awful Movies: Ep 94 – Death Wish 3

Mental Cannon treatment of a series past its best before date. The first Death Wish is a stone-cold uber classic. By the time Golan and Globus got around to it though, things were really coming off the rails.

Death Wish 3 was written under a pseudonym (understandably) and is the last collaboration between star Charles Bronson and director Michael Winner.

To reduce costs, this turd was filmed predominantly in London rather than The Big Apple.

The film carries out the vigilante justice/high body count motif we’ve come to expect from the series, yet ups the ante considerably. A whopping 83 characters had to be fitted for coffins in this one!. Here, Paul Kersey (Sir Charles) returns to Brooklyn to find his army buddy has been attacked and left for dead.

Paul moves in to his deceased friend’s apartment complex in East New York and begins to lay waste to an assortment of mostly interchangeable goons, in this, the most insane of all the Death Wishes.

Tune in as we chat about…DEATH WISH 3

Really Awful Movies: Ep 93 – Skin Traffik

An extremely underwhelming espionage thriller, Skin Traffik features a veritable “Who the hell cares?” of former stars. This includes Mickey Rourke, whose face is now a catcher’s mitt because of an ill-fated pro boxing career in Florida, Michael Madsen, hammier than a porchetta panino and the sine qua non of bad moviedom, Eric Roberts.

Kickboxer/star Gary Daniels gets mixed up in a human trafficking ring and has to rescue a bunch of Russian hookers from the clutches of a secret cabal of globalist weirdos.That’s about all there is. Oh and for some reason this involves shuttling between London and Amsterdam, even though there are no canal chases or any scenes that make use of the stunning Dutch city.

As an aside, Gary is not the name of an action star. He’s the guy who does your taxes.

We love bad action films. And this one is a stinker of stratospheric proportions.

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Really Awful Movies: Ep 90 – The 36th Chamber of Shaolin

Arguably the greatest martial arts film of all time, in this week’s episode we look at the Shaw Brothers classic The 36th Chamber of Shaolin.

The film follows the exploits of San Te, a nobody who trains at the Shaolin Temple to master kung fu in order to overthrow the yoke of Manchu tyranny.

At first, the Buddhist monks want nothing whatsoever with this interloper, who’s arrived smuggled in via a vegetable delivery cart. San Te gradually wins them over with his awesomeness.

Basically one lengthy training montage from one chamber to another, this doesn’t diminish the fact that this is an intriguing piece of art.

It’s certainly much more compelling than the inane 90-second Seagal rehab/recovery and training in Hard to Kill.