Category: Action films

Really Awful Movies: Ep 78 – Roar

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“I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter. … ‘Cause I am the champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar. … You’re gonna hear me roar!”

Katy Perry

Roar is UNREAL. It is completely and utterly BATSHIT. Do yourself a favor and see this ASAP, as nothing’s been made like it since, nor ever will be again for ethical reasons.

Roar is a film about Hank, a guy who lives on what can only be described as a predatory cat compound on the African Savannah.

It stars then-married Tippi Hedren (The Birds) and Noel Marshall, as well as their real-life family, daughter Melanie Griffith and sons John and Jerry.

This film was a very dangerous, dangerous vanity piece…and really has to be seen to be believed. Rarely has such commitment been shown to a film in the face of such real-life dangers.

Keep your arms inside the vehicle at all times as we get down and dirty with jungle cats in Roar.

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Really Awful Movies: Ep 77 – Class of 1984

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Orwell’s 1984 envisioned a sinister dystopia where everyone answered to a central, totalitarian authority. In Class of 1984, it’s lack of authority that’s the problem: a bunch of kids running roughshod over a highschool.

Mr Norris is the new music teacher at a problem school, rife not with sax and violins, but sex and violence. As he arrives on his first day, he meets fellow teacher Mr. Corrigan (McDowell) who packs heat to deal with the dangerous ruffians.

This film predated the ubiquity of metal detectors in North American schools.

It’s a fun, exploitation flick, shot in Toronto and featuring the debut appearance of one Michael J. Fox.

Quite shocking for its time, this one holds up really well today. Cut class, meet us behind the bleachers for a smoke and join us for a chat.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 72 – Maximum Conviction

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Submerged, Half Past Dead…We’ve had fun at Steven Seagal’s expense on the show. And richly deserved.

We figured we’d do it again, because hey, Stone Cold Steve Austin is in it too! Austin AND Seagal??? Double the pain. So much pain in fact, we may have to pull the plug on the man with the plugs. It’s too much. His direct-to-DVD Hungary-lensed turds are too much for even us to take.

In Maximum Conviction, he’s a contractor involved in making sure a prison transfer at a decommissioned prison goes smoothly. What could go wrong you ask? Glad you asked! Lots. There’s some bad guys who want to spring some of the cons.

Seagal has gained considerable poundage and cannot do much of the heavy lifting here. In fact, he barely beats any ass here. What gives? We INSIST on a wrist-snapping aikido-rama but there’s barely any fisticuffs of any sort. Disappointing.

Check out Maximum Conviction and let us know if we’ve missing any other Seagal classics.

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