Category: Action films

Really Awful Movies: Ep 33 – Firestorm

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Without a word of a lie, Firestorm is one of the most dunderheaded films we’ve ever encountered (and we’ve endured four films made by Steven Seagal in the 2000s!).

Howie Long is a firefighter, battling blazes in Wyoming. Long was a long-time Raider football player and is one of the greatest defensive linemen of all time – as an actor? Not so much.

This piece of crap was initially set up to star Sylvester Stallone but the production company went belly up and the budget was given a slash ‘n’ burn. So they got Howie instead.

And what is Scott Glenn doing in this??? He’s a legend, who should’ve known better. He plays a grizzled firefighting captain and has a mobile home land on him! (and escapes unscathed for the most part).

A bunch of inmates out on a work program are on firefighting detail. They break free and jet off into the wilderness. One among their ranks (William Forsythe) has a bunch of money stashed away and they exacerbate the blaze to avoid being captured. And there’s only one lunk-head who can stop them.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 31 – Hunt to Kill

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Hunt to Kill? Guess you never hunt to maim…

Stone Cold Steve Austin is of course, the Texas Rattlesnake of WWE fame. And he stars as a border patrol agent whose partner is killed investigating a trailer home meth lab.

After this pre-credit roll tragedy, he seeks peace and quiet. He leaves the Lone Star State for the quieter confines of Montana. However, things aren’t that quiet up there either.

He and his obnoxious teen daughter are kidnapped by a bunch of irate bank robber thugs who’ve been double-crossed. Their ex partner has absconded with their money and Stone Cold, with his knowledge of the backwoods, comes in handy to track the guy down through the forest – in exchange for his life.

With the exception of The Expendables, Stone Cold has been in a slew of terrible direct-to-DVD duds. And Hunt to Kill is one of them.

In this show we talk about terrible action films lensed in British Columbia and how there is no honor among thieves in heist flicks. Also, how relatively few WWE superstars have made the transition to bona fide actor, awful dialogue and how it’s imperative that the title of a movie is said in a bad action movie. We also delve into the acting talents of Eric Roberts and Gil Bellows.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 27 – Strike Commando

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Arguably, one of the worst war films ever made. But who wants to argue?

Strike Commando is one of the worst films of all time, period, featuring the legendary Reb Brown.

While operating behind enemy lines, Brown (Sgt. Mike Ransom – yes, we’re not kidding. That is his name) learns of a Russian presence in North Vietnam. And that presence, a hulking galoot killing machine goes by the name of (say it with us): JAKODA!!!!!!!

Ransom has to fight this Russian bear, as well as the Vietcong, all the way back to home base in this Bruno Mattei-directed mega flop.

Loud, inept, stupid, laughable and bat-shit crazy, Strike Commando is an absolute must-see.

http://reallyawfulmovies.com/2014/11/09/strike-commando/