Really Awful Movies: Ep 40 – The Condemned

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Condemned to see The Condemned.

Move over Running Man/Hunger Games /Battle Royale. It’s a tournament to the death (last man standing set free) involving convicts, unwittingly starring in a bad reality TV show. And this is also a bad movie.

It features twin growlers, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Vinnie Jones. That’s a lot of growling and a lot of squinting. As a bonus, there’s lots of corny stereotyping.

We picked this up in Toronto’s Koreatown and we’re glad we did. So many questions, such as, under whose authority can convicted killers be released? That of a TV producer? What kind of jurisprudence is this? Hear how we survived…The Condemned!

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Really Awful Movies: Ep 39 – Bad Movies of the Week: LaserBlast, Open Water and Caught Inside

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Bad movies we caught this week.

What’s worth watching and what’s worth using as a coaster?

Laser Blast an infamous flop, lampooned on Mystery Science Theatre. What springs to mind when you think “laser?” Maybe Austin Powers or James Bond but not…a silly cannon and an amulet.

LaserBlast is about a loner who discovers an alien laser cannon and goes on a rampage, seeking revenge against those who he feels have wronged him. With a plot like that, how can you go wrong?

Roddy McDowell (who’ll work in just about anything) is in this. He plays a doctor but don’t get too excited – his appearance lasts for all of five minutes.

The film features a tennis racket battle. There are also turds that look like Claymation.

Also, two nautically-themed features: Open Water and Caught Inside. The former features two SCUBA divers who are abandoned by their boat and basically have to survive the open seas. Also, Caught Inside an Aussie movie about a surfing trip gone terribly awry.

“Bull” an alpha male who looks like Bret Hart with Iggy Pop’s DNA spliced in. His travel mates get a sense of just how loony he is, after a fight with a fellow surfer. Gnarly, dude.

 

Really Awful Movies: Ep 38 – Night of the Lepus

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A killer rabbit movie?

Yes please.

We love rabbits, especially grilled. And we give this one a good grilling.

Night of the Lepus features some pretty high wattage star power, including old timey Western star Rory Calhoun, Deforrest Kelley (Star Trek) and Janet Leigh (Psycho).

An experiment goes awry, causing oversized bunnies to run amok somewhere in Arizona. Or was it New Mexico? Who cares!

How much should we mess with nature? Hubris of man, the laws of nature…all these and terrible jokes featured on this edition of the podcast.