Really Awful Movies: Ep 22 – Samurai Cop

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Samurai Cop is an absolute gem of a bad movie.

A samurai cop and his side-kick go after the Yakuza, that notorious Japanese organized crime outfit. However, it’s set outside of Los Angeles. And there’s barely a Japanese person to be found.

The samurai cop (Matt Hannon) has a Bon Jovi / Friends / Fabio hairdo that proves to be distracting, not only for aesthetic reasons but also for what we described as “hair continuity issues.”

We discuss second unit footage and cutaways, both of which are used amply here.

The film’s villain utters lines like “I want his head on my piano!”

And we’ve also got the incomparable Robert Z’Dar (Maniac Cop)

 

Really Awful Movies: Ep 21 – Latter Day Steven Seagal

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In Submerged, Chris Kody (Steven Seagal, in full Cajun accent mode at the outset, then promptly abandoned midway through) is a mercenary released from prison but with strict conditions: he must take out a South American bad guy who’s taken over a nuclear sub (a sub with Italian language controls that is referred to as Spanish for reasons unexplained).

And in this podcast, we get double your pleasure (and doubled in size) Seagal as we also look at Half Past Dead.

When a sinister European international gangster stereotype says “I am a soldier trained in the art of killing” we know we’re stamping our passports for a visit to Craplandia.

And who better to act as a guide than the aikido legend himself, Steven Seagal?

Half Past Dead is a jail break film based on a phenomenon which is frequent enough that Wikipedia has a page devoted to it: helicopter prison escapes. But lest you think baddies can get away with such shenanigans, this super jail has an undercover agent who twists limbs. Guess who? Also, we get Ja Rule as an Ebonics language instructor / sidekick.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 20b – Bad Movies We Watched this Week

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Bad Movies We Watched this Week. This is a recurring segment on our show, the Really Awful Movies Podcast.

On this week’s episode: Hide and Go Shriek discussed. It was a spur-of-the-moment blind rental from one of the few remaining video stores left in Toronto (sad, so sad).

It starts with a panoramic view of a beaten down neighborhood — so far so good —and then it veers into drag queen / prostitute territory!

However, Hide and Go Shriek pretty soon becomes your typical teen slasher film. Eight teens begin to get picked off by a mysterious killer, which is pretty par for the course.

The other film on the docket is Alien Abduction. It’s got two can’t miss words in its title, “alien” and “abduction.”

It’s a sci fi flick that features a military hospital that deprograms people who think they’ve been abducted by aliens. That’s a pretty darn fantastic premise for a film. However, it’s super super cheap and there’s a weird central vacuum type cranial surgery patients are subjected to.