Really Awful Movies: Ep 261 – 7 Valentine’s Day Horror Films

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On this special bonus episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, Valentine’s Day Horror Films.

Today is a day to reignite your passions and tell loved ones they’re loved. But also, there’s no better occasion than to dive into what we love: horror movies! Horrors are oft-known to be set around holidays, whether it’s New Year’s Evil, Silent Night, Deadly Night, April Fool’s Day, etc. And there’s no reason this faux-holiday should be any different. After all, there’s already red liberally spread around, right? How about add some squibs to that, and make things blood spattered?

As the poster tag-line for Valentine says, “love hurts.” While this is undoubtedly true, you can learn to love again. But you’ve only got one life to live, and that’s something to remember when some nasty serial killer is bearing down on your. The Canadian classic, My Bloody Valentine, is called that for a reason.

So tune in, tell your friends to subscribe and join us on the Really Awful Movies Podcast!

 

Really Awful Movies: Ep 260 – Bloodsport

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On this episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, Jean Claude Van Damme’s epic kickboxing tournament movie, Bloodsport.

This flick was one of Van Damme’s first starring films and showcased his formidable kicking and flexibility, and dare we say it, charm.

The “Muscles from Brussels, aka, JCVD plays U.S. Army Captain Frank Dux (as in, “put up your dukes” and not “get your ducks in a row). The film was apparently built on the myth, the legend of the real Frank Dux (whose life has mysterious semi-apocryphal origins, a la JCVD contemporary Steven Seagal).

Dux was trained in the US as a young boy by a Japanese immigrant, Tanaka. And Dux wants to honor his mentor and take the place of Tanaka’s deceased son Shingo in the illegal, underground martial arts Kumite no-holds-barred tournament in Hong Kong. However, his employer, the US Army, ain’t happy about it. And they’ve sent two guys to go intercept him in Asia (it’s a dumb subplot, but whatever, it gets us Forrest Whitaker!).

After arriving in Hong Kong, Dux befriends American fighter Ray Jackson (Donald Gibb, who played the hulking Ogre in Revenge of the Nerds). The two hit it off over a mutual love of cheesy video games and get ready to fight in the early UFC-style round robin.

Chong Li (Bolo Yeung) is the powerful pec machine and ruthless Kumite champion—and he’s the betting favorite by the hordes of degenerates who’ve descended on the arena.

Gotta love pit fight action flicks, the rip-roaring excitement, the rippling muscles, the bloody tournament theatrics, UFC-style theatrics, and of course, different styles of fighting (from the ridiculous, to the even more ridiculous)

Since its release Bloodsport has achieved cult status, and for good reason. This flick was followed by a bunch of mediocre sequels, none of which involved our man, JCVD.

Tune into the Really Awful Movies Podcast every week, and our reviews at www.ReallyAwfulMovies.com

Really Awful Movies: Ep 259 – Mountaintop Motel Massacre

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On this episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast we turn to another regional horror, this time from the state of Louisiana. This one is called Mountaintop Motel Massacre (the massacre bit was added later when Roger Corman bought the movie to get it distributed). And boy are we glad he did, as this one is a total hoot.

It’s not often you get to see an elderly lady in a mediocre 80s slasher movie, but here, the proprietor of said hotel is our killer.

Evelyn is a septuagenarian who’s just been released from a mental institution. Everything is easy-breezy as she tends to her garden.

Then, a series of events put motel patrons in harm’s way (at the risk of divulging too much here).

Evelyn, as you may have guessed, is handy with a sickle. Disparate travelers end up at her place of business, and like a really bad version of Psycho, meet their demise.

This one is a slow-burn. Some would call it meticulous. Others would spare the obfuscating language and call it was it is: dull. Sure, it’s dull. But given what the directors and actors had to work with, they didn’t do half-bad a job.

This is regional horror after all. There’s no major backer behind it, no big-time names, certainly no large Hollywood studio.

One host of the Really Awful Movies Podcast as a younger, tried to amass as many movies with massacre in the title as he could. For whatever reason, this one escaped. It’s very possible Jumbo Video or some now-defunct VHS chain simply didn’t stock Mountaintop Motel Massacre.

The movie has attained sort of cult status, which is just the way we like it.

Join us this Friday and every Friday as we delve into oddball, transgressive, low-budget action movies, freewheeling off-kilter sci-fi flicks, and even the odd musical or misguided comedy.

Join us!