Really Awful Movies: Ep 287 – Touch of Death

Lucio Fulci is one of our favourites. With Touch of Death, however, he’s not exactly in his finest form. Still, lousy Fulci is a bit like lousy pizza: it’s still pretty darn good.

Lester Parson is a cannibal psychopath (uh oh!) who abducts and mutilates women in the Tuscan hills, eating certain cuts and disposing the rest in his back yard to his pigs.

And he thinks the radio is talking to him.

Parson is a degenerate gambler as well. Why? To bad out the run time of course!

Over the course of a scant 80 minutes, Fulci strings together a bunch of largely unrelated set pieces, largely as an excuse to show off some gore and gallows humor. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all!

So, join us on the Really Awful Movies Podcast as we talk about our favorite Fulci films, the oddball appeal of horseracing, the work of genre actor Brett Halsey, HG Lewis, our love of all things Italian horror, and much, much more. Subscribe, folks!

Really Awful Movies: Ep 286 – The Last Shark

On this week’s episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, The Last Shark! Also known as Great White, this is a poorly constructed bargain basement contractor version of Spielberg’s iconic Jaws. But hell, that’s not so bad…as eco-horror animal attack movies are among our absolute favorites to discuss.

This one has a town…and there’s an important windsurfing regatta that’s been put in jeopardy, thanks to the exploits of a fearsome predator of the deep.

And it’s up to the denizens of Port Harbour (yes, really) to take on the killer shark, and marshal their forces to liquidate the creature. Can they? Certainly, especially if they can employ the services of a low-rent Robert Shaw/Quint.

Starring the incomparable Vic Morrow, The Last Shark is directed by Enzo Castellari, and shows very few, if any, of the directorial flourishes of the masterful, incredible Jaws.

But really, does it matter? This one is so much fun, even if the shark looks like an inflatable clown punch-up doll more than a terrifying apex predator.

Clear the beaches! Grab a couple of beers, find a version of this shameless rip-off to watch (Universal took the producers to court the similarities to the Spielberg product are that obvious). And be sure to sign up to the podcast!

Really Awful Movies: Ep 283 – Seven Blood-Stained Orchids

It’s giallo time on the Really Awful Movies Podcast! That’s right, that sub-genre of horror devoted to all things black-gloved, and lurking about in the bushes amidst gorgeous Italian vistas. This week, we are tackling Seven Blood-Stained Orchids by Umberto Lenzi (we waxed poetic about his hilarious Nightmare City on an earlier episode).

Many folks don’t know that U.L. was a giallo director before he became known for blood-filled gut-munchers like the above, and Cannibal Ferox/Man from the Deep River.

So, how does Lenzi acquit himself here? Fair well, we’d say!

The plot: someone is murdering women in Umbria, Italy. And what they have in common is that a killer is leaving behind a silver moon amulet.

Soon, the cops are on the hunt for the suspect, who is caught mid-attack on a train, leaving a survivor. She and her husband, a fashion designer, play amateur detective and try to find out who the culprit is.

Glorious stuff. There are beautiful set pieces, lovely settings, and as a bonus: Antonio Sabato!