Tag: terrible movies

Really Awful Movies: Ep 135 – Ultra Warrior

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Ultra Warrior is a pastiche…Ah, forget the fancy verbiage…who are we kidding? It’s cobbled together stock footage crap!

The film takes leftover Corman footage, combining outer space, horror films and dystopian into one bizarro experience.

Starring Dack Rambo (that is his real surname), the film focuses on the land of Oblivion, the entire area of the eastern seaboard, east of Kansas City (?). Oblivion has mining materials that need to be exploited so the humans who managed to survive a nuclear apocalypse can use the fruits of their labors as ingredients for anti-alien weaponry. It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but that’s what you get when footage from at least 10 other films is used. Oh, and one group of people exploit another, genetic mutations known as “muties.”

Good fun.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 122 – No Holds Barred

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Popping vitamins and saying our prayers with the second Hulk Hogan movie we’ve endured on the podcast, 1989’s NO HOLDS BARRED.

A network with sagging ratings tries to boost their brand by signing the world’s top wrestling draw, Rip (The Hulkster). When he balks, they produce their own long-form political drama for HBO, become hugely successful, and the rest is history. Just kidding.

They do what any major network would do under the circumstances: attempt a kidnapping, bait the competition with a seductress, then stage a cage fighting tournament for television, featuring a cross-eyed psychopath straight outta prison.

No Holds Barred combines the logic-defying zaniness of a Cannon film (even though it’s New Line), with the crappiness of a WWE production. The Washington Post said it has a  “script that seems to be a collaboration between Hogan’s publicists and Hollywood hacks who somehow missed “Rocky” and its progeny…”

Featuring a generous 11% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, No Holds Barred was promoted on WWE via “No Holds Barred: The Match/The Movie. The matches were no great shakes either (The Ultimate Warrior is on the undercard) and the federation remains embarrassed enough that this isn’t available on their network/website.

When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside…

Really Awful Movies: Ep 113 – Hunter

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Ron Becks is…HUNTER.

He’s a “mystical cop” and this $200,000 (but looks much cheaper) California action flick is mystifying.

Directed by Gregory Hatanaka (Samurai Cop 2) we’re introduced to the very zen Tony Robbins platitude dispenser, Hunter. He happens to work for LAPD’s International Sex Crimes Unit.

Hunter is a bewildering figure, a self help guru and a formidable jazz man (cough) who shakes down drug dealers and swigs Makers Mark from the bottle.

He becomes embroiled in quite a caper, the murder of several of his fellow officers. All the while, he becomes a reluctant guardian to a teen runaway from the “backwoods of Tennessee” (yes, that’s the caption).

Bizarre, hilarious and inept, Hunter is must-see material. And you’ll be surprised to see George Lazenby in a supporting role (maybe as surprised as he was to be in this).

Here is the trailer and link to our review:

Hunter