Really Awful Movies: Ep 37 – It came from the bargain bin

We discuss some of the crappy movies we bought for $2-3 and what motivated our purchases. A big thanks to Toronto’s 2Q video (sadly, now defunct).

In this edition of the Really Awful Movies podcast, we discuss our love for the frequently unintelligible Vinnie Jones as well as WWE film productions. Cut Off features the one and only third-rate rapper Kurupt (who we discovered from Half Past Dead, an aptly-titled Seagal flick). A hot chick wearing bullet bandoliers was an impetus for the purchase, as well as the presence of Malcolm McDowell and Faye Dunaway. The plot is can’t miss: A spoiled heiress is cut off from her billionaire father and embarks on a crime spree (!). Jeff picked up Wise Girls based on the cover and the presence of Mira Sorvino and Mariah Carey (!). The women discover survival is more than “service with a smile.” There’s gotta be more to the diva than Glitter. Chris picked up Crackerjack 3 because it has b-movie icon Bo Svenson and Oliver Grunier in it. It looks like a painfully lousy espionage flick.

Then, it’s Panic Room meets The Strangers. An elevator pitch on the DVD? That’s a bad sign! Stash House features the one, the only, Dolph Lundgren.

Lastly, Johnny Was stars Vinnie Jones and weirdly, former Canadian heavyweight champ Lennox Lewis and Who singer Roger Daltrey!

Really Awful Movies: Ep 36 – Ong Bak – Thai Warrior

Ong Bak, Muay Thai Warrior is a wild Thai action film starring ass-kicking Tony Jaa. Jaa rules! The guy is a “human special effect.”

On this podcast, we discuss how we came to see this amazing film, its mesmerizing fights and chase scenes and our experiences in Thailand.

The plot is wafer-thin but who cares? RAM guy Jeff even watched it in Thai, minus the subtitles. And the movie didn’t suffer for it.

Thai villagers upset over the theft of their beloved Buddha statue get the village’s toughest resident to hunt it down in the mean streets of Bangkok.

 

Really Awful Movies: Ep 35 – Deadly Crossing

Not so much a movie, as a few episodes of a dreadful TV show cobbled together INTO a movie.

In our quest to watch every Steven Seagal “movie” ever made, we bravely tackle Deadly Crossing.

In this, the amazing thespian aikido master tries to master a Cajun accent, and does so very unsuccessfully. And no discussion of a Seagal movie is complete without mentioning his brillo pad hairdo.

This is a Canadian-lensed dull police procedural with some of the worst Russian gangster accents ever committed to celluloid. For a $5 Walmart pickup, we can’t complain – too much.