Really Awful Movies: Ep 12b – 50 Shades of Grey

Stepping outside our comfort zone, we look at a movie with a really really high budget by our standards (we’re accustomed to things made for under 1 million on our site, ReallyAwfulMovies.com).

A telecom billionaire (we know he’s evil as he’s a successful business man) woos an English lit grad (we know she’s virtuous as screenwriters always write what they know and they consider themselves virtuous).

They’re both better-looking than oh, the majority of the human population but she’s meant to be dowdy (by Hollywood standards; we’re surprised she’s not wearing glasses to tip people off).

He’s harboring a bedroom secret though. Can this unlikely pair survive and will the latter accept the former’s sexual peccadillos?

This movie is based on a hugely successful series of novels, none of which we’ve read (nor will ever read) but we thought we’d wade into the shallow end of the pool where this movie is doggy paddling and see what all the fuss is about.

Really Awful Movies: Ep 12 – Get Even

The Google search engine confounding Geteven (they made a mistake on the DVD cover) is also known as Road to Revenge and Champagne and Bullets. It’s also known colloquially by native English speakers who know how to use a space bar on their keyboards, as Get Even.

One of the all-time great good-bad movies this one is a vanity piece that stars a California trial lawyer-cum action superhero and martial artist John de Hart, who looks like a grinder from the 1984 Philadelphia Flyers.

He plays a cop, Rick, who along with a buddy, are dismissed from the force by a corrupt higher-up. His buddy “Huck,” founded a religion based on Huckleberry Finn and does an unintelligible soliloquy about it, while standing waist-deep in a swimming pool (which doesn’t even crack the Top 5 weirdest moments).

There’s also a subplot about a devil-worshiping cult as our heroes seek revenge and go after their boss, who suddenly goes from chief to judge!

Really Awful Movies: Ep 11 – How we got into low budget cinema

On this episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast: how we got into low budget cinema.

On the show, we discuss the following films:

-Eating Raoul.

This film is about a couple who finances their dream restaurant by luring swingers over to their apartment and whacking them over the head with a frying pan to steal their money. An absolutely can’t miss premise that also features a (near) toilet bowl drowning. Also, Satan’s Sadists, a bikers run amok movie that actually DOES feature a toilet bowl drowning.

The Intruder, AKA, I Hate Your Guts,

This one casts Captain Kirk William Shatner as a cross-burning bigot, one of the few Roger Corman movies that lost money.

-Dolemite,

A cheap martial arts flick, and a supposed “comedy,” featuring the self-proclaimed “Godfather of Rap,” Rudy Ray Moore (RIP) who once proclaimed, “When it comes to rappin’ I was through with it before they knew what to do with it.”

[for a more in-depth discussion of Dolemite, check out our Dolemite podcast!]